WEBVTT
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Let's get all the hate out. Okay, let's hate.
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Let's do it.
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No, of course I hate Glenn metal, anything that's not
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metal metal, right.
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Traditional Cindy Lopper videos.
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Yes, what else do you hate?
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I hate Hall of Oes hairstyles.
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In the eighties, Yes, you do. And you know what
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we're gonna call this section holiday holiday hate, That's what
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we're gonna call it.
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How about jangle Bells?
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No, because jangle bells still sounds a little happy, and
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there is no happiness here. There is only hate.
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This is a trick.
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Listen to the decade of decadents right here.
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Back to the eighties.
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When we start doing changrys, I want you to do
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like we used to do on the radio. I want
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you to give five things to get you changry. We'll
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do that, And I understand why you just want me
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to do them, because it fills that precise where you
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can say, ladies and gentlemen. He is such a hater,
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such a damn hater. Right.
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The bottom line is, you can't erase who you are
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at heart, and you know what, stand proud to be
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who you are. It's just sad. It's sad that just
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hate on music in general. But anyway, I will, I
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will see Ladies and gentlemen, you are witnesses here. This
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is even before we haven't even started the show.
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You see, you see, you see what I have to
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put up.
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With single time, the hate.
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No, you, my friend, are like Richard Nixon. Well, I'm
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not a crook. I've earned everything.
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I've got.
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You tape everything, You admit to nothing, You conceal everything.
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And then if I were to stumble into your dojo
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and find all these tapes, yeah, and bring them up
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to the listener court of order in radio, Yeah, you
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would say I'm the editor in chief, Yes, I would.
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I can do anything, just like Richard Nixon says.
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When you're the president, you can do anything. Yeah.
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Well, apparently presidents don't have to worry about laws and
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getting arrested. But you know what a poor schmoe like
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you and me forget to pay a parking ticket and
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we can be arrested and taken into custody for six months.
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Didn't that just happen to us recently at a Christmas party?
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Don't we have like a clip of that or something?
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Tuscanowan, I had a little bit of trouble this holiday.
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We were invited to a Christmas party. Now here's the thing. Okay,
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we started on our way, we got the time machine,
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we started heading back. I was a little bit too
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spun out on Christmas snow and rum that I didn't
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want to leave Santa Claus at my house because Santa
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Claus is nothing but a lush and we don't want
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Santa drinking and driving, or the kids don't get presents,
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and everything's all anyway. Now, Toscano and I were enjoying
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Christmas carols. We were singing along with our radio. We
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have a blow punk in the time machine. Of course,
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we didn't know we were getting tailed how We didn't
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even know how fast we were going.
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I knew how fast I was going. And we were
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pulled over.
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We were locked onto the helicopter and we were handcuffed
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to the steering wheel and copoted steering wheel of the vehicle,
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our vehicle, our time machine, and we were taken to
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the North Pole jail.
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We found out that Santa Claus was the mayor.
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But we did get it. We did get a visitor.
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Remember, oh, yes, we did get a visitor.
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We contacted really quick our lawyer, and that is Santa Viz.
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Now Santa Viz for any of our listeners that don't
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know him, is our lawyer, but he is an impressionist
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of both Santa Claus and Elvis.
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Is it Santa Vis or was it Sanvis?
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I think it's Sandviz. That's what my PaperWorks is Sanviz.
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It was Sanvis.
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I'm hoping he calls the hotline or comes in. Well.
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I don't know if he's gonna do that, but I
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do know this I just found. Look, I was just
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given by production. I was just giving a tape, a
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cassette tape, because you know, this happened while we were
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back in time. We have the recording of his visit
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to us. Let's let me play a little bit of
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what Sandvis told Toscano and Chang as we were in
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the North Pool jail.
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Well, with some here fellows, ain't no easy road with all,
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you know. I mean, we're all going to get the
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cold shoulder. I wonder if that fat gully, a red
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guy with a red nose, there's got any good blow.
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Wow.
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I don't know, Oh Christmas.
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That is, Are you gonna take us out of jail
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or what?
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Hey?
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Hey, hey, hey, take it easy.
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You're crazy Italian yay, you ain't strapping oak going on
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me right now, I'm calling the shots.
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Hey, ready to go give them some other paperwork. Okay, fellows, fellas,
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just what we're gonna do.
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Hey, it's nice to see you. We didn't we knew
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that you were real. We you know, we actually thought
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that you were just a legend, more than Santa Claus.
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But we see that you're not well.
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Man.
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First of all, thanks a lot. Hold on, man, here
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comes some children murdered Christmas, little boys and gurus. Now
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you boys are I'm gonna have to sign and plead
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guilty odd always naughty, No, no, God, I'm gonna post
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your bail.
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All right.
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I'm gonna get him a couple of autographs, almost sing
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a couple of tunes. Jail House Rock is one of them.
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I hope you boys enjoy that tune. We're gonna sing
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it together with no pants. It's gonna be a great thing.
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You're gonna go first, you're gonna go apologize to Santa Claus.
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Merry Christmas, everybody, Just call on with Chang.
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You'll free the gold. Santa Claus.
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Do me a favor. Stay away from that bad candy.
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I'm onto the building baby.
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Dingle bells, dingle bells, dingle all the way.
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Oh, what's fun? And it is too riding?
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Then you say the chamber lady jingle bells, dingle jingle
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jingle all the way.
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On fun, it is too riding.
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What us up?
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The slave that's shining through the snow, he's dat up.
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Slave, he's dashing, oppels me go, he's das laughing all
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the way.
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I was laughing.
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Bob tells me, I mean that's peers right.
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Oh mon, it is.
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To ride, say I slaying time tonight jingle basing jingu
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ging jingle all the way. One mom is to ride.
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It's that chamber jingle basing ingle dingle all the way.
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Oh what fun it is to ride? And what I
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go to slay, but.
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Got shoot through the stores being the one horse over
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and slaves.
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Oh but that feels to go.
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Man, my hard making.
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That spirs riding ladies to ride, say.
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Stop dingle bell dingle jingle jingle away.
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The mine is to ride.
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It's in terrible dingle bell dingle, dingle dingle away?
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What it needs to ride on?
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Slash ladies and gentlemen, I'm Shadow Stevens and you must
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listen to back to the eighties radio.
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It's the law, It's the most wonderful time.
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Back to the eighties radio. You have just heard stray
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cats with jingle bells. Well, thank you for joining us
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on this very belated Christmas program. As you heard a
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little bit before the song and the break, we did
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have a little incident so we weren't able to do
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our Christmas show till right now. But first I must
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tell you that I must introduce a man whose first
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word as a baby was Judas Priest. He was once
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kicked out of a punk club in the eighties for
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refusing to listen to the Cure because they were too cheerful.
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Don't let that leather jacket fool you. This man is
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secretly hiding his pair of pastel parachute pants in its
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closet and knows the words to every Tears for Fear song.
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Tonight and every night.
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We only know him.
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As the chang Merry Christmas. Belated boys and girls, welcome
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to the program. On behalf of myself and the exaggerating
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Italian stallion Tuscano. I want to thank you all for
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waiting anticipating like the Hinds fifty seven commercial anticipation four
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the Christmas Show. Obviously you heard what has happened to
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me in Tuscano.
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It's a good thing.
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We were not sexually violated, but we were violated in
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every place below the knees in North Pole.
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Jail, especially the pocket book. Oh it was terrible. Oh
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my god.
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I mean Santa reamed us, I mean a sack over
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our heads and beat us for whatever we had. I
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had to give him all my Christmas dust, that sut
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of a bitch.
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Anyway, I know you even lost your glasses. Now you're
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just wearing a player of fluorescent glasses that I think
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that McDonald's used to give away with their happy meals.
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Now, what do you think of my macho man glasses?
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My mind, I like them, I apparel, I like them.
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Actually, if you so, let me describe Chain's glasses, because
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of course, at our age we need reading glasses and glasses.
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To read the gut. Here very low.
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Blow, but he is he is wearing some pretty interesting
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bill Ny the Science Sky glasses with a fluorescent yellow
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frame at the front and some type of white uh
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legs stretching out to the back of the air.
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Yes, and you're Gray Laker Beanie. Oh yes, what do
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you think of that beanie?
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I like the beanie, liked the glasses. Uh, it says Los.
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Angeles laker, thank you very much for wear mine.
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And just to let you know, he's wearing some type
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of a red hoodie with black or so don't let's
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not talk about any type of fat. Oh it's queen,
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very cool sweater. But let's not talk about fashion sense.
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Chang does not have it. He matches not. It doesn't
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matter to the Chang. All that he cares is that
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he's wearing his sweater a queen. By the way, Chang,
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I am wearing just because of the occasion. I'm wearing
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a Christmas plaid semi formal shirt. Now, is that a Gucci,
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because you know, a Chalion. I actually don't even know
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what Brandon, No, it's not Gucci. It is, however, one.
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Of these made by Italian children.
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No, it's anyway, this is one and only. Back to
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the eighties radio show. Thank you for joining us as
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we continue our stride through the nineteen eighties and today,
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ladies and gentlemen, we are going to be talking about
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those gifts that we did receive back in the nineteen eighties.
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If you were.
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Fortunate enough to survive the eighties and you were fortunate
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enough to celebrate Christmas in those years, those awesome years,
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because they were, I mean anywhere you look changed, didn't
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it seem like the Christmas spirit was much more prevalent
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back then. If you went to a mall, malls were
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decorated inside outside, they had all I mean all the stores.
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It was this exaggerated, this Christmas spirit. There was Santa's Village,
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there were models. They made you feel like you were
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at an amusement park.
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Some of the malls, you know what an excellent point, man,
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do you remember almost every store was decorated in some
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of that fake pine garland all across.
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Some had lighting.
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To me, the malls in the eighties during Christmas was
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very reminiscent if sat to Clause was real and out
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and about in town, and elves were really decorating them
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all exactly. You know, Christmas in the eighties had an
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essence and innocence.
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I think the last.
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Aura of innocence Christmas touched in the eighties.
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Anybody that had.
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Children, or possibly was a child or a young individual,
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or if you look back, it was more joyous, it
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was more easy, more carefree. You felt it everywhere you went.
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You know, Christmas tree lots were opening up. You saw
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them getting built up on the corners at your favorite stores.